A few weeks ago, we went to our good friend's house. I sat at their kitchen counter and asked the couple, “Do you all know my mom wrote the movie E.T.?” They looked at me weirdly.
I quickly explained, my mom claimed when I was a kid, Steven Spielberg stole the idea of the movie E.T. from my Mom… this is not true, of course.
When A Beautiful Mind, the movie, came out, everything started to make sense to me. A Beautiful Mind depicts the real-life story of mathematician and Noble Prize winner John Nash, who was paranoid but a genius. My mother's behavior was similar to John Nash.
While my mom lived in LA LA land - you can only imagine all the lies she created about my dad. She thought the FBI was following her, and I had to grow up fast to navigate.
While the world, according to my mother, never made sense to me, I learned to question everything.
I have always wondered why I loved math at such a young age….now I realize it’s because there was always a right answer, which was logical to me—you could prove the answer out—whereas the world, according to my mother, didn’t make any sense.
I have always wondered why I didn’t grow up thinking I was a victim like my mom who thought she was. I couldn’t control the world around me, not the world my mother made up in her head…I could only control my response. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung wisely said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
I have always wondered why I have so much energy, but now I realize it came from my mother's love, this is my superpower. This reminds me of the famous Harlow monkey experiment. Harlow took infant monkeys from their biological mothers and gave them two inanimate surrogate mothers: one was a simple construction of wire and wood, and the second was covered in foam rubber and soft terry cloth.
Like that monkey experiment, the baby monkey prefers the cloth monkey (warmth) to the wire monkey that has a bottle for food.
Love from a parent is the most powerful gift you can give a child, it’s obviously not money.
I believe everyone has had some experience, a shadow, that has led them to view the world in such a way that makes sense for them. Carl Jung called the parts of ourselves, people don’t know, the “shadow,” a hidden aspect of ourselves with a lot of power to change our life’s trajectory — and sometimes, cause trouble.
Philosopher-psychologist Eugene Gendlin observed hundreds of therapy sessions and claimed that a key determinant of whether a patient would eventually recover was how they processed their experience internally and the quality with which they could express it. - from Tom Morgan.
We all have unconscious biases about how we make decisions.
I am sometimes too logical, but exploring my inner world and the lessons I learned (and didn't learn) is helping me be more empathetic to myself and others and become a better financial advisor.
Thanks for reading!
Tiffany Kent
Your Friendly Wealth Engagement Guide,
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