Hold Hands with Your Skeletons

Rich and I recently attended an 11th-grade parent social at our kids high school, and many of us shared stories about our kids' college experiences. 

It’s interesting to see the differences between college cultures: 

- In the Northeast, freshmen are fiercely competitive and are already vying for internships. 

- In the South, freshmen tend to enjoy going to football games.

So, is competition a good thing?

When competition is overemphasized, it can create a reluctance to reveal who you really are, fearing that any vulnerability will be seen as a weakness.

What is your skeleton? 

In finance, especially at a hedge fund, competition is intense. 

It’s an industry where everyone is fighting for the best ideas, the best results, and the biggest gains.

Seventeen years ago, after taking seven weeks off for my daughter Alexandra's birth, I was eager to get back to work. 

When I returned, I found a new analyst had convinced my boss to invest a third of the fund in his recommendations. Let’s just say I wasn’t thrilled with my new office mate. 

He was confident, came from wealth, and seemed fearless. I was hungry.

But something inside me clicked. Instead of resenting him, I learned to emulate his confidence and approach. I became more assertive in my pitches,

As a result, my boss gained confidence in my recommendations and increased my position sizes. When my recommendations performed well, I was rewarded more than I had ever dreamed.

Recently, I listened to a podcast with Katie Koch, CEO of TCW Group, called The Art of Investing: Be A Force Multiplier. Koch emphasized resilience, humility, and handling failure. She shared how, as a liberal arts intern at Goldman Sachs, she felt like the least qualified in a competitive environment filled with finance majors.

But her position as an underdog pushed her to work harder, turning a perceived weakness into a driving force and fostering humility.

From Ryan Holiday: If you’re going to compete, compete with yourself. Compete to be the best version of yourself. Focus on things you can control—being more present, kinder, and having more fun with your kids.

I love that Henry has already learned how to compete with himself.

In swim he focused on betting his PR, this is a good way to think about competition.

Am I a little better today than yesterday?

These are the things that shape us, and by focusing on self-competition, we set a lasting example for our children. 

With gratitude, thank you for reading!

Tiffany Kent

Your Friendly Wealth Engagement Guide

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