When confidence fails

It was the summer of 1991, and I just graduated from high school.

My mom bought an RV and gave up her apartment in Beverly Hills.

My mother planned for us to drive up the coast to Canada, but I had to figure out a way, not back home, but to start my freshman year at UC Berkeley.

I booked a one-way flight from Calgary to Oakland.

A few weeks into the trip, we were far from the airport.

As my departure date was approaching, my mom decided she didn’t want to drive me 4 hours to the airport

Because the gas would have cost her ~ $100.

Desperately, I found a bus from Lake Louise to Calgary, but I had to take it the day before my flight.

So I spent the night sleeping on the floor of the airport.

I got on my flight the next day and met my dad at the Oakland airport,

who helped me move into my dorm.

I was 18 years old.

Confident I could handle anything.

But later in life, I lost my confidence in my 40s, only to regain it after a really hard, long journey.

But there is sometimes a huge problem with confidence.

Confidence can make you think you have the answers when you don't.

I tried to reconnect with someone I thought I had a good first conversation with, only to hear.

“No, thank you.”

Ouch! That hurt.

But I must have said or acted in a way that made her want to reject me.

After some deep reflection, I realized my confidence might be rubbing some people the wrong way.

As an investor, you have to be confident.

As an advisor, you don’t have all the answers.

When a confident financial advisor reached out to me years ago, I was curious how he would approach me… (this was before I became an advisor)

I thought to myself when he was speaking to me, there was no way I would ever work with this guy.

He doesn’t care about me.

Why should he?

He just wants to manage our money.

And most importantly, there was no connection.

Reflecting on my past, I recall that being independent meant I never shared anything personal about myself to people I worked with.

I was a closed book, yet I wanted people to understand what I had experienced. Such as:

- Getting myself to college and sleeping in the airport.

- Managing my mom's checkbook and other huge responsibilities since I was 14 years old.

I wanted to be heard and understood.

We all want to be heard, understood, and respected.

If your advisor isn't listening, maybe it's time for a change.

Thank you for reading!

Your Friendly Wealth Engagement Guide,

Tiffany Kent, Tiffany@wealthengagement.com

Empowering women to take control of their future!

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